The Wandering Librarian

What exactly is the “American Dream” anyway? Is it a house with a white picket fence and a nice car in the driveway (or heated garage)? Or is it working a job to just barely get by? Whether I am living the American Dream or existing in America’s sad reality, it is killing me.  My financial, physical, and mental health are all faltering under the expectations of performance and consumption.  I am so ready to exit the rat race.

I fully believe that there are always choices that an individual can make to keep themselves in the best financial health possible.  And you will often find me preaching that your selection of house and vehicle will really help drive your financial future.  However, as a housing shortage and high interest rates drive up the cost of housing, both for purchase and rent, it becomes harder and harder to limit housing expenses.  For example, pre-pandemic, the average home price was $329,000.  In October of 2024, the average home price was $419,200 an increase of 27 percent.  So even if you want to purchase a modest two bedroom, one bath house in an urban area, you will be paying out the nose.  During the same period, wages have not matched inflation.  So the first strike against our financial health is the housing pricing crisis.  You can certainly purchase or rent as small and cheap a house as is plausible for your family, but you cannot avoid the ever increasing price tag overall.  The second strike will be transportation.  Do you need a car? Forty-five percent of Americans have no access to public transit (I fall into this category).  Now, purchase, maintain, insure and gas up your vehicle.  Even if you are like me and drive a 2013 Corolla, your costs will still far exceed what you would spend on public transit and walking if you lived in a more accessible community. Now, onto major cost number three: childcare.  Here in America, if you want to work, paying for your childcare falls completely on yourself unless you are among the poorest of the poor or you are immensely fortunate to have employer subsidized care.  We were able to secure very high quality care for only $1076 per month, but many families in other communities have costs far exceeding this number.

Physically, I have never been in poorer health.  I sit at my desk at least eight hours a day doing a sedentary job, and spend another ninety minutes in the car.  My lack of activity has resulted in obesity and a reduction in my cardiopulmonary health.  I went from hiking the Grand Canyon’s Bright Angel Trail in a single day just five years ago to losing my breath while walking between the off campus parking lot and my library.  I’ve gained 70 lbs in that time frame and feel like I never fully recovered from my pregnancy in 2022.  Why? So I can work a job that pays for my exorbitant rent, transportation, and childcare!

And then there is the stress.  The insurmountable feeling that I am never doing enough. I don’t spend enough time with my child. I don’t make enough money. I’m not a productive enough cog in the machine.  It eats away at my soul, making me spiral into a twister of anxiety and depression.  The meds make my obesity worse and I slowly descend into poorer and poorer physical health, making myself feel worse and worse on an emotional level.

So that’s it. I’m done. I can’t figure out how to live the American Dream successfully, so this so-called Land of Opportunity just isn’t for me anymore.  I am in a privileged position to be able to leave and earn a living in my new country by working very part-time doing freelance work and be able to focus on my family and my health.  I am so ready to jump out of this rat race.  I can’t wait to be able to get on that plane to Ecuador.