Let It Be or How to Apply Stoicism in Highly Stressful Situations

I have been struggling to control my anxiety and stress in this trying season of my life. I have found myself as the sole earner in our household, helper my husband, and mothering a nearly two-year old. All while trying to learn a new job and build a support system in a new state. I am exhausted.

As a planner, I try to see the potential outcomes from multiple angles. I regularly have multiple contingency plans running in my head for any number of scenarios. However, in my current circumstance, I have very little control over what is coming down the pipeline. Will my husband’s disability claim be awarded? Will my new job renew my contract after my first year? Who is going to be elected President in November? How badly will my parents be affected by the next hurricane to roll through Florida? Is my daughter hitting her milestones? On and on and on with the attempt to foresee any possible challenge ahead and dwell, and research, and plan.

Stoicism teaches us to let go of the uncontrollable and only focus on what we can do. This has perhaps the most difficult portion of stoicism to implement for me as I try to plan, plan, plan. But the reality is you cannot see everything coming. While it is worthwhile to be aware and prepared, my over anxious brain is crippling me with all the what ifs. So I am trying so hard now to just let it go if I don’t know the outcome. And to do that I can focus on what is in my control.

I control how productive of an employee I am and continue to build my skill sets as a librarian and faculty member.

I control how I engage with my child and make sure she is emotionally nurtured.

I control how I advocate for my husband, and all I can do is my very best and then let it be.

Everything else, it will happen as it happens. I just need to be content and satisfied with my own actions. So, I will stop and think as circumstances come to me. I will not try to foresee every possibility and twenty steps ahead.